Mary Kay

So some of you are probably wondering why I decided to do Mary Kay and that it probably came out of left field. Well all of you that think that are totally right! I have been around Mary Kay forever with my mom doing it all growing up and many of my family and friends involved with it but it was never really "for me"...or so I thought. 

These last few months had been a struggle for me. I felt like my job at Pinnacle made me important. That I contributed to the company and that I had a purpose. Leaving Pinnacle was really scary for me. I felt like people knew who I was and my work ethic and VALUED me and my talents. When I went to work for True it was something I felt I needed to do in order to be with my husband and they were going to match my pay and give me a new challenge and I was going to get the opportunity to work from home. I felt like working from home was almost a promotion even though my pay was the same. 

When we got to Seattle it was nice to be at home and be able to have my nephew with me and to have that freedom. I do feel like I started to let myself go. When I was at Pinnacle I would dress very professionally (maybe a little overboard) but it made me feel good about myself and feel important. When I was working from home my husband was lucky if I put on mascara or got dressed. It also made me very lazy as far as taking care of myself physically because I would work in my pjs and then get off work and just watch tv and didnt want to go out. 

When I lost my job in December it just made things worse. I felt worthless and like I had no purpose. I wanted to be a contributor and felt I wasn't contributing or doing anything that made me feel good. I decided to go back to school during the summer so when I lost my job my school schedule would only work with an at home job. I looked for the last few months but nothing was working or fit. Alan ended up deciding that he was going to take a job that was going to force us to live apart for several months if I wanted to finish school. Shortly after my friend Kayli decided she was going to move back to Texas and I had already lost so many friends last year that it was too much. I started crumbling and felt like I was losing everyone. 

Well unfortunately when I went to this Mary Kay meeting my fear of abandonment was boiling up and I lost it in front of women I had never met. Luckily I had Kayli there with me and she was able to help me pull it back together and look at the opportunity for what it was. I am going to be a Mary Kay consultant because it offers me everything I have been looking for: friends, challenge, fun, freedom and confidence. I am excited to get started!

So heres to today...to embracing my fears, to overcoming my obstacles, to starting something new and to great friends giving me the strength I need to push forward. Thankful for today.